International Women's Day with Miss Lou
Overview
This IWD, we spoke to Singapore's glamour vintage songbird, co-founder of Loudanclear and A-T Ambassador - Miss Lou, about her songs and messages that radiate positivity and inspire hope.
Her songs and messages on social media platforms radiate positivity and inspire hope. We pry into the impetus behind her good, strong vibes.
The theme for IWD 2022 is “Gender Equality Today for a Sustainable Tomorrow” – what is your take on that?
When I was younger, I used to think that advocating for gender equality as a woman meant that we needed to highlight incredible milestones achieved by women to prove that we were as valuable, if not more, as men. Today, I believe that men and women were created with differing strengths and weaknesses that are complementary, and while we are empowering and exalting women, we also need to undo harmful expectations placed on men, so that we can effectively steward all the power and authority in different spheres in society collaboratively. That also means that gender equality is a shared burden by both men AND women.
With patriarchal attitudes being pervasive in so many societies and communities, we as a human race have arrived where the destruction of the environment is reaching a point of no return, wars started by leaders are raging on, socio-economic inequality is expanding, and so on.
No one knows what state we’d be in if women had been the ones governing most nations and institutions as we are equally human and hence equally susceptible to corruption, greed, and self-preserving behaviours, but perhaps it’s time to try?
“If insanity is defined as expecting different results while doing the same thing, then we must be quite insane to expect a sustainable future if we don’t try to fix what’s broken.”
What were the defining moments that transformed you into the confident and positive woman you are today?
A specific memory of stepping on stage as a lead role in a school musical at 16, performing a solo that we’d rehearsed for months into a pitch-black theatre, was one of the moments in my adolescence where I realised that I enjoyed this, and was decently good at it.
Coming to faith was also a fundamental part of the confidence I own: realising that I didn’t actually have to base my self-worth on other people’s opinions of me was a game-changer, because that meant that I didn’t have to feed off of external validation like a drug, allow my emotions to change with the fickleness of social media algorithms, work myself to the bone, and constantly shout about my achievements to earn my value. I was created for a specific role that only I can step into, so there’s no basis or need for comparison or competition with others, and my worth is not based on what I produce, what I own, what I have, or who I pretend to be in front of others. I am already known and loved.
Have you have experienced gender biasedness/ inequality in life? How did you manage the situation?
Definitely. Even as a privileged woman in a supposed first-world nation, objectification, sexual harassment and assault are more rampant than we are ready to accept. I have had experiences where I have feared for my personal safety from persistent invasion and violation of my personal and private spaces in settings as varied as public transportation, to F&B establishments as a working musician, to schools and elevators.
There are fight, flight, or freeze responses in situations like that, and I’ve often frozen up in the face of perpetrators, but it’s especially discouraging when there are people around who clearly see I’m in distress but don’t step up, or people in power who choose not to pursue for fear of a damage in reputation, declining profits, or inconvenience. Women I have shared this with have rallied together to support one another through sharing resources and providing practical and emotional support, but we need the support from men too to create real change.
What do you think can be done to address gender stereotypes?
1. Call it out when we observe problematic behaviours - ideally privately first to establish if said person acted out of ignorance or malice, then through the proper channels and authorities if necessary. Taking it public should be our last resort, not our first reaction.
2. Educate ourselves and each other on harmful stereotypes
3. Show grace and forgiveness - it is unlikely that someone who is being shouted or sworn at would immediately recognise they’re in the wrong and accept being corrected, only truth spoken in love can bring about real and lasting change.
Why did you choose music as your career?
I’ve always been drawn to music as a little girl - I would sing into unplugged karaoke microphones around the house and fearlessly step on stage during school graduation ceremonies - and my parents have always encouraged artistic exploration and performance opportunities when I was growing up. Many people gave me chances and opened doors along the way for me to prove my reliability and trustworthiness, and in university, I started earning money through singing at weddings, hotel lounges, F&B establishments and live music venues. By grace, that allowed me to establish relationships, volume of engagements, and income to be able to make a livelihood from music full-time the moment I graduated from business school. Even working part-time as a singer as a undergrad paid better than entry-level positions in companies I was looking at!
I started working on my debut EP right after graduation, and through years of trusting the process, releasing videos, content, and music, connecting with every individual who would listen, I started being appreciated as an artist.
What was originally a go-with-the-flow plan after graduation is now a calling - I realised that I (and you too) have been put in this specific time, place, and with this exact configuration of circumstances for a very specific purpose - to make full use of the resources and opportunities that have been hard-earned by the people who came before me, to use my voice and my privilege to make meaningful music that provokes, inspires, and ministers. Music is powerful, and now I use it as a way to connect with more people so they realise their purpose too.
How could you contribute your wisdom, expertise or ideas to empower other women?
I mentor and guide younger aspiring artists when they step through the doors of my studio, and volunteer my time to give talks and have dialogue sessions in educational institutions. I try to share my stories, mistakes, lessons learnt, and best practices with them so that they may reach even higher than I ever could have.
What would be your advice for young ladies out there?
Don’t anchor your self-worth on things that will change (external validation, beauty, sensuality, net worth, position in society, etc), always strive to be honest and authentic, perfection is an impossible goal, and always prioritise relationships above possessions.
For more about Miss Lou and her music, visit https://hellomisslou.com/.